Bereaved family teaches us power of community

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At the funeral service, about 500 people sat shoulder to shoulder on the benches in the sanctuary. There were so many people that some stood on the sides. We watched, we hurt, and we somehow hoped to offer solace to the family sitting in the front row.

The worst had happened. A 13-year-old boy went skateboarding in his neighborhood after school. As he rode his board around a corner, the oncoming truck tried to stop but could not. The boy died later that day. On the day of their son’s … Continue reading

Workshop Triggers Memory of Being Only Jew

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Remembering a childhood kitchen should make a person think of food. But last night, during a writing workshop at the Brookline Booksmith, thinking of my family’s kitchen took me back to the first week of school in a new town. I was back in 1974; I was 9 years old, and my two brothers and I were the only Jews in school.

The writing instructor asked us to write down details of our childhood kitchen, then write about an event there. Yellow vinyl bar stools. My mind fixated on that … Continue reading

No gifts: We tried a Hanukkah idea at a birthday party

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If you check out today’s Globe magazine, you will see my article about the no-gifts policy we tried at our son’s second birthday party this year. There’s a story behind the story. Urging our guests not to bring gifts to Simon’s birthday party was an extension of something we tried at Hanukkah. We gave our son a dreidel each night, and nothing else. My husband and I gave each other nothing.

Our plan in the years to come is to continue to make Hanukkah a gift-less holiday. This is a … Continue reading

Teaching tots about Shabbat: Don’t blow out the candles

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Shabbat had little meaning to me as a child. My family never attended a Friday night service, lit candles, or bought challah, and my husband’s family did not either. Shabbat dinner? Neither my husband nor I attended one until we were grown-ups. Now, as parents, we want to make Shabbat a part of our 2-year-old son’s existence.

Author reveals challenges of writing about faith in interview

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Author Dani Shapiro recently gave a reading of her memoir, Devotion, at Porter Square Books in Cambridge. She was low-key, yet mesmerizing as she spoke about her personal search for spirituality. A few days later, I interviewed the 47-year-old author by phone.

Shapiro, who spoke from her home in Connecticut, was candid about her search for spirituality, her challenges in writing the book, and her continued attempts to add Jewish ritual to her life.

Chanting Kaddish: Do the words or ritual provide the solace?

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Saying the mourner’s Kaddish during my brother’s yahrzeit, which I will do tonight at temple, usually tears me up. It is not so much the words that stir me; rather, it is the ritual. The prayer asks us to praise God, honor him, extol him, glorify him, and finally to wish that God will bring peace on us and all of Israel. There are no direct words of comfort, no pearls of wisdom designed to help us heal from loss.

Dani Shapiro writes poignant, provocative memoir

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This 40-something Jewish mother and writer found a lot to love in author Dani Shapiro’s new memoir, Devotion. Shapiro, a provocative, frank, and skillful writer, is also a 40-something Jewish mother. She riveted me from start to end with her story about her journey to understand where spirituality fits in her own and her family’s life. Bostonians can hear her in person this week: She will do a reading at 7 p.m. on Thursday at Porter Square Books in Cambridge.

Learning to conquer March

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The anniversary of Kevin’s death hung like a specter. I had to learn how to conquer March.

Those words end a chapter in my yet-to-be published memoir about journeying through grief after my brother’s death and moving closer to my Jewish faith.

Today is March 1, the 24th anniversary of my brother’s death. It is a day I dread because it is a reminder of a horrific day in my and my family’s life. I remember March 1, 1986, as if it were yesterday. I was asleep in my … Continue reading

Saga of our Souls

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He was gone, just gone. This was my belief after my brother Kevin died in a car accident in 1986. He was 23, and I was 21. All that remained were the memories of a fun-loving, caring brother with an impish streak.

I sensed my brother’s presence by my side at times during those first years after his death. But I did not think he was in some new, better world. Jews, I was sure then, do not believe in heaven. Right? The answer, I am learning, is complex.

Sex and the Texts

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First off, an admission: I stole the title for this blog entry from one of the handouts at the sisterhood retreat. Thanks, Rabbi Carey Brown. The title of her lecture also was too juicy not to cite as well: “Sex is Good! … Modesty and Pleasure Both.”

In my 40-plus years on this earth, no rabbi has ever talked about sex in context of the Bible or anything else in my presence.