“How many brothers and sisters do you have?” That question, so routine, is jarring for some of us. Too early in life, we lost a sister or brother.
I lost my brother Kevin 24 years ago. I have lived as many years without him as I did with him. And yet when someone asks me how many siblings I have, I still pause. Do I say I have one brother and stop there? Or, do I answer that I have one brother, but I had another one?
Most of us are considerate enough to take a baby or toddler out of the sanctuary if wailing or whining starts. As Jews, we should roll out the welcome mat for young families, whether they show up for a regular service or Tot Shabbat. Continue reading
I’m a havdalah neophyte. Until well into my 30s, I had no clue what havdalah was. Judaism, unbeknownst to me, had an ancient ritual to mark Sabbath’s end.
Why write about this ancient ritual now? For the first time on Saturday night, I experienced the beauty and simplicity of havdalah in my own home. It was not planned. We had our temple’s cantor, her husband, and 4-year-old over for dinner, and the idea slipped out of my mouth as the sky began to darken.
Making Shabbat a part of modern life is a juggling act for many Jewish families – including my own. Author Judith Shulevitz, who I interviewed yesterday by phone, confesses to being a tad obsessed with the Sabbath. She, too, is conflicted over how far to go in observing Shabbat.
Her passion, fascination, and obsession with Shabbat resonate throughout her new book, The Sabbath World, Glimpses of a Different Order of Time. In her interview, she is candid about her callow views of her own faith as a teen and … Continue reading
There may be a way to ensure that children grow up loving everything Jewish. By not “making” our children love it. Instead, by doing what comes naturally.
My husband and I go to temple services because we enjoy them, and we bring along our 2-year-old son when we can. Based on our experience this past Friday, Simon already has an infatuation with temple services, whether it’s a regular service or Tot Shabbat.
Is there a statute of limitations on mourning? I wavered as I sat in my car in the temple parking lot. It was 8:45 a.m., and for the first time, I planned to attend a Yizkor service on Shavuot, a Jewish holiday I usually ignored. There was one other car in the temple lot. Perhaps I should just drive away, run errands, and get my daily overpriced cup of iced chai at Starbucks. My brother died nearly 25 years ago. Did I belong among the mourners that would gather in … Continue reading
Elena Kagan is giving me a guilt trip, but it has nothing to do with her nomination for the US Supreme Court. At age 12, Kagan fought for the right to chant from the Torah in her Orthodox shul to celebrate her coming of age as a bat mitzvah. In 2006, at age 41, I chanted from the Torah and led a prayer service to celebrate my bat mitzvah as an adult. I am chagrined as I write this: I have never chanted from the Torah again. Kagan’s long-ago fight for … Continue reading
Cemeteries are designed to be beautiful, peaceful places. Yet, how many of us return to visit a loved one’s grave? Some people are cemetery visitors, and some are not, a rabbi told me recently.
Today, as I began some revisions on my memoir about grief and faith, I thought a lot about Rose Hill Cemetery in Chicago where my brother is buried. It is a strikingly beautiful place with ponds and century-old trees. Geese and ducks flock there. I have been there a handful of times since 1986, the year my … Continue reading
Today is National Prayer Day, and the thought makes me cringe. I never knew National Prayer Day existed until recently when I read that a federal judge had dubbed the practice unconstitutional. The ruling is on appeal, and President Barack O’Bama recognized National Prayer Day anyway. Our country, after all, has had this “holiday” for more than 50 years.
I spent the latter half of childhood living in rural Ohio. I was the only Jew – other than my two brothers – in my school system. My opinion stems from memories … Continue reading
Was it something spiritual or just an adrenalin rush? I had a dream part in a Shabbat service last week. As Jewish folk singer Julie Silver sang her musical composition of Shir Chadash, I accompanied on the flute. Listeners said later that they could sense my joy.
A decade ago, I would have said that playing flute in front of any audience only gave me an adrenalin rush. Now, I am closer to my faith, and my answer is a combination. When I sing or play flute on the bimah … Continue reading
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